Monday, December 12, 2011

'The Oldest Living Blogger' returns, sorta.....

Actually, I enjoyed using that 'handle' on my original blog, even though it did get a few negative reactions from those who rightly assumed I wasn't really quite old enough to be justified in using that title. They missed my point, which was that it was meant as an eyeball-grabber, and for that, it worked wonderfully well. It got me and our community blog here mentioned in 'USA Today', and reprinted in the Boston Globe and the Chicago Tribune and a few other big city papers, and you can't get much better than that.

But I'm digressing again - I call it 'stream-of-consciousness writing' by the way - and it just goes with the flow. I was looking just now at one of those newsy type websites where they use a lot of glitzy pictures of celebs and good-looking 'wannabe' types, and on there was a picture of a formerly-famous still-young actress from a well-known series (who shall remain nameless) and she's grimacing for the camera in a semi-sexy dress at some run-of-the-mill semi-compulsory 'grand opening' of yet another mediocre melodramatic Hollywood production where they hope the advanced hype will con you out of your ticket money before they have to rush it onto a DVD to recoup enough to satisfy the howling investors....you know the kind.....and I'm looking at this kid, and I'm thinking, "God! She looks like she'd been hit by a truck and then poorly reassembled by some learner plastic surgeon at a Mexican clinic where they make up in volume what they lack in skill and quality..."

All of which brings me to pointing out, in case it's even necessary, that there's a hell of a lot of useless 'fluff' and pure brainless nonsense packed into attractive layouts on webpages to grab our passing eyeballs and waste our time while pretending to actually be 'news'. Hell, where I came from, news was the semi-reliable, almost-trustworthy gossip you heard from your next-door neighbor or the guy at the gas station, and then tried to confirm for yourself by talking to someone else about it until the evening news came on, and you could get the real poop straight from the poopdeck, with Edward R. Murrow or another famous 'talking head' on the Boob Tube. Those talking heads of course were presumed to have verified the story or exposed the fakers prior to news time. We don't have that same kind of faith today in these internet stories, because we already know that the internet is fueled by its porn-hunters and their 'bait' is famous for being surgically enhanced, grandly but not well, and therefore the whole magilla is based on the stuff that makes the grass grow green - good old steaming BS.

These creators of this so-called 'news' are playing to our baser instincts and assuming we've all got the I.Q. of an unwashed turnip, or at most one that doesn't exceed our belt size, and it pains me deeply to report that in most cases they appear to be correct in that assumption. These days, we've not only got too much information, but most of it isn't even real information. Much like some of this stuff I write for this blog, it's mostly just 'filler' with the rare nugget of fact tossed in for seasoning here and there to keep you from nodding off before the end. Which happens to be right about here!

And that's 'stream-of-consciousness' composition, Kiddies.

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