Nervous day, yesterday. Had to meet my new replacement general practitioner, and get checked over, and decide if I'm well enough to have my colon on camera next Tuesday morning at 09:15 a.m., to check it for spots, blots & clots. Or more particularly, for polyps, and possible restrictions resulting from an old colostomy and its subsequent repair. All this was arranged by a bright young specialist who seems determined to keep me alive "until you're 94!".... And I think I may have dampened his enthusiasm by asking, "Who says I want to be 94, in diapers, spoon-fed by some grouchy practical nurse with too much middle and not enough smarts at the ends?"
He said, "What do you mean? You don't enjoy living?" And I replied, "I'm enjoying the hell out of it, because it's better to burn out than rust, but nothing's forever, and there's a season for everything, and when your time is up, you shouldn't try to second-guess your Maker, who wrote the warranty."
So yesterday, I finally met the nice young doctor who replaced my old GP when he retired at the end of December. They moved their clinic since I was last there, and it's now in the old original building formerly housing our credit union's main branch - so I'm familiar with the new location. When I walked in, one of the three girls on reception called out "Mr. Sutton! Long time no see! Welcome back!" - and everyone in the waiting area turned to stare at this old prune standing there, saying "Hi, Darling! You're looking especially nice today. How are you?" There followed a couple of minutes of "catching up" while nothing much else got done, and then I sat down and tried to shut up. It's not easy....
The snappy new fixings there are all very modern, clean, and bright. Another of the young ladies led me into a labyrinth of examining rooms, hallways, and closets, reminiscent of our nearby Lions Gate Hospital, where you almost need a road map to find the front desk. It's ridiculous. I was shown into a rather spartan examining room, with only one interesting feature: its computer terminal. When the doctor finally arrived, I was busy on the computer, reading about NASA saying that Mars' atmosphere had gradually blown away with the solar wind. To which, I'm thinking, "Bullshit! - read the background information." - But more on that later....
The new doctor and I had a nice chat, and I brought him up to date on all my new and different medications, prescribed by the hot young Internal Medicine specialist who adopted me while I was in hospital a couple of years ago with pneumonia. New doctor says, "He's very smart..." and I said, "Yes, but much too thin. As I told him, when patients look at their doctor, they want to see the picture of health, because that tells us more than you can put into words."...and he said, "I eat lots! But I'm a runner..." - and I replied, "So run into Milestone's for lunch, and tell them I sent you over for the Eggs Bene and a tall Vodka Collins, with extra sugar and a dash of Grenadine for added color."
New doctor remarked, "It sounds like you two have some interesting conversations." I said, "Yes, and I think I enjoy them more than he does."
Before the visit was concluded, I asked, "Do you have one of those little clip-on Oxygen Meters that fit on a finger?" And he said, "Yes, just a minute while I go get it." We did a check on my Oxygen level, and it showed "95%", so we decided I'm OK for that procedure next week with the colonoscopy.