American politics: What the hell are they thinking?

To an outsider like myself, American politics would be very amusing if only they weren't so deadly serious about it.

Take Rick Santorum (Please!) for example: In a recent speech before a crowd of suitably impressionable fans, this intellectual giant stands up there in front of God and everybody and says, "Thank you for taking the first step toward taking back this country!" 

As if the good old U.S. of A. had been loaded up, lock, stock and barrel and hauled off kicking and scratching to darkest Africa, to become one of those black-assed African fiefdoms everybody loves to hate because their leaders can't even spell the word 'democracy'. 

Know what's wrong with democracy? Too many of the voters are intellectually challenged burger slingers, and not enough of them are Ph.D.s in Economics. Too many of the candidates think that being able to throw shit at their competitors qualifies them for the job of leading the country. 

And "taking back this country" implies that it was better off under that idiot 'Dubya' and his pals like Bernie Madoff and those Wall Street whiz-kids who thought up those schemes to peddle junk bonds and hustle people into mortgages that couldn't possibly be paid off. Looks to me like the country is already back far enough as it is, with a debt of over $14-trillion. If I lived there, I think I'd be learning Chinese or Japanese so I could speak to the new owners in their own language. But don't worry - there's always Google Translate....