Friday, August 2, 2013

Meanwhile, coming to your TV....


Mother warned me that watching TV would strain my tenuous magnanimity and
destroy my fashion sense, not to mention my moral fiber, ruin my posture, and give me dyspepsia from eating all that junk food while waiting for the good parts, if any, to show up. And Mom, wherever you are, you were absolutely right! Television is a vast cultural wasteland where intelligence goes to die....

And those TV signals have been spreading out into space like a huge bubble around our disgustingly backward little planet for a little more than sixty years, and before someone jumps up and says "There was television around back in the 1930s!" may I remind everyone that those were very early times, and only the favored few had even heard of it back then - the great unwashed masses of  boob-tubers didn't form the habit until the sets were cheaper and more generally available during the 1950s. All of which means that we've now got a big electronic bubble of television signals spreading out into space and forming a
sphere around us with a radius of roughly sixty-three light-years, give or take a Howdy Doody or a Captain Kangaroo or two.  And all that explains why we haven't actually met any space-traveling aliens yet. They've probably tuned in
our vacuous effluence, and promptly turned around, thinking "These life forms are far too primitive for us to waste our time on...." 

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