Here's the sequel from the dumb-ass on the couch doing fart jokes for a third of a million per episode, proving once again that you don't get a second chance to make a first impression. Like I said earlier, 'Two and a Half Men' died when Charlie Sheen had a classic bipolar meltdown and got fired. Everything since has just been the burial and memorial services, and anyone who thinks otherwise just hasn't been paying attention.
And I hear someone asking "What would you know about being bipolar, you Old Fart?"
To which I'd reply, "A whole lot more than you might imagine, Schnookie! I was bipolar before it was popular, away back in the days when they gave you Lithium Carbonate and took away the keys to your big V-8, and I could probably write a book about the highs and the lows and the in-betweens of it all, and the nervous fellow workers, and the frightened spouses, and the unfriendly neighbors, and the pill-pushing shrinks who got overpaid for pumping you full of toxic chemicals in the name of 'control'. So please don't ask me what I know about being bipolar, because I might just tell you."
Some of my very best friends are similarly bipolar and most of us have above-average I.Q.s. Our problem isn't that we're stupid, it's that we don't have enough self-control,
and that's a characteristic of the disorder, which is genetic in origin, and caused by defects in our genetic codes related to damaged or missing genes in our DNA. Those cause our bodies to reject essential trace elements normally found in our food and water which are necessary to maintain a balanced body chemistry and correct values for our blood plasma electrolytes which regulate the performance of our central nervous system. We are what we eat, and if we aren't accepting all the essentials, then we aren't getting all the benefits. So medication is required to force acceptance of the elements being rejected in order to re-balance the system. And that's my nutshell explanation of the remedy for being bipolar.
It only took me several months of digging through the library's medical texts section deciphering all those Greek and Latin rooted medical terms into plain understandable English. After that, the rest was easy, because I know what it's like being on the inside of that problem looking out. Sometimes, it's Heaven, and other times it's Hell. The trick is to swallow your pride and your medication and minimize those times when it's Hell. Some of us are more successful at that than others are, as we see in the news from time to time.
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