I was supposed to go for an X-ray to a clinic in a part of town where there is almost never an empty parking space within blocks. The X-ray was intended to find out if I have an enlarged heart. My first little wife, the daughter of 'Old Fang' who barked at everyone, and chased cars just to bite their tires, would have sworn on a stack of Bibles that I do not have such a thing. Recalling that joyous old memory got me thinking....
If I got that X-ray, and it showed an enlarged heart, what could they do about it? All the doctor could do would be to fake a really sad look and say, "Ray, the good news is, you aren't dying of cancer, but the bad news is your heart is enlarged and there's nothing we can do about it, so you're going to die with it one of these days." To which I would probably respond, "Surely, you being an old biker like me, you didn't really expect that either of us would live forever, did you?"
So thinking that through, I figured, "What the hell? Why bother? If it's working let's not fix it!" But I did go to another Lab on his list, for blood work and an ECG, all of which seemed to go along very well. And all of which will give us much more significant results (I've been reading the Merck Manual again!) so I am once again "being my own doctor", after a fashion.
Finished in there, I decided to check out the big superstore of 'Bed, Bath and Beyond', just down the sidewalk a short walk. And it's 'Beyond' alright! I was looking for an extender to raise the height of the seat on Ye Olde Biffy, and mistakenly assumed that a huge store like Bed, Bath and Beyond would logically have such a thing. I was wrong. They have nothing like that. Disappointed, on
my way out, I stopped to ask the Greeter and Pointer-outer if she could at least tell me where to find a nice little yellow Rubber Ducky. Looking embarrassed, she confessed, "We don't sell those cute little Rubber Duckies!" And I said, "I'll bet you think I'm putting you on, but I really do want a Rubber Ducky. My old one got too old and tired and lost its whistle one day, so I reluctantly bid it a fond farewell, and laid it to rest in the Big Blue Bin. And now, My Dear, I would like to have another, and I'm just desolated to find that you don't have any!"
She said, "I'm really sorry, and I like Rubber Duckies too, but we don't carry them - you'll have to go to the Dollar Store."
Instead, I went to see the girls at my favorite 'has everything' supermarket, to stock up on munchies and bread for the crows, and tell the girls about my adventures in Bed, Bath and Beyond. There were three of the girls at my check-out counter, and they all agreed this was the funniest story they'd heard all day. So I said, "Don't forget to pass that along - I still want my Rubber Ducky!" As I picked up my groceries to go, one said, "Ray, you're really something! Enjoy your day!" I replied, "And you, Ladies!"
This is one of the munchies I got this morning at the supermarket, and as you may notice, these come from Dubai, U.A.E. and they are absolutely habit-forming. If you can find them, you're in for a real treat! They are triple-wrapped and carefully sealed in an airtight plastic foil inner bag they say to preserve freshness, and it really does! These are wonderful.
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