USA Today is not some cheap scandal-driven tabloid - it is one of the largest and most prestigious broadsheets in America - so please act like it.
We don't really need these cheap shots to catch our attention. Monica has had her 15 minutes of fame, and Tori is a spoiled brat who would be a gold-plated nobody if not for her dear old daddy. Let's move on to some real news, shall we?
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