USA Today....Today's five things to know

When I was 15, I was worth about $1.98 in paper route profits. Google is now 15 and worth about $200-billion. I'm still worth about $1.98 and I'm now 80.
That's the difference between the futures of a high school dropout and guys who stayed in school and got Ph. D.s in Snooping. Google cautions us frequently to beware of 'phishing schemes'. That's because they don't like competition as the world's greatest 'phishing firm'. They're so busy lately sweating the big stuff that they can't be bothered fixing old mistakes, like why do I have to re-select the font I've chosen every time I pause to add an image to my blog, for example. Does anybody give a shit how annoying that is? Apparently not. They're too busy spending that $200-billion. I probably would be too.

The Senate votes to avert a government shutdown. It's déjà vu all over again, and this is looking like another trip down Memory Lane. Don't any of you guys know how to play this damned game? Are you stupid, or what? Here's an idea - sell the country to Google! They know how to make money from it.

Bill Clinton: Chelsea would make a good President. Sure she would! So would Miley Cyrus, but neither of them has the clout just yet, and the odds are against them getting it any time soon, because there's too many Good Old Boys running the show. I was going to add 'for fun and profit' but then I remembered you're over $16-trillions in debt, aren't you? But you're armed to the teeth, and you'll shoot the first son of a bitch that bad-mouths you, right? If China lends you the money for the ammo, that is.... Gawd, it's good to be 'Mericans, isn't it?

300 sandwiches for an engagement ring: define 'underemployed'.

FBI says the Navy Yard shooter had no specific target. Yes, he did. Anything that moved. Mental illness is non-discriminatory. We're all its enemy once the voices and hallucinations take over. So we have to find ways to separate the crazies from their firepower, preferably before they shoot us. Get the picture?

ICYMI: Oracle team comeback: the Americas Cup. One bunch of millionaire sportsmen looks pretty-much like any other to me down here with the poor folk.
But if it pacifies you flag-wavers and keeps you out of the '15 items or less' line at the supermarket when I'm in it, then I'm all for it. Enjoy your day, Folks!