President Putin in Australia...

He came, he saw, he heard, and he left early.

Here's an idea: Instead of Ukraine, maybe we can interest Vladimir in taking Quebec off our hands. They've been trying to separate from Canada for decades, and it's costing us a fortune to bribe them into staying. They would likely enjoy not being part of Canada, and many of us would be glad to be rid of them..... We will even throw in our favorite recipe for Poutine, that delicious dish made with fried potatoes (sweet potatoes works better) and gravy and cheese. I'm getting hungry just thinking about it.... so let's make a deal! You can have our secret recipe for Poutine for two bottles of Moskovskaya, and we will give you Quebec as a bonus - but you have to promise to keep it.